Tag Archives: adverbs

What to use instead of adverbs

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Adverbs, particularly those ending in -ly, have gone out of fashion these days. Many advisors to writers are now advising that we not use them. Preferably not at all. Or, if we must, then as seldom as possible. Naturally (oops), this leads to the question: What should a writer should use instead?

Here are some answers.

  • When the adverb is a qualifier (mostly, somewhat, possibly, very, extremely, actually, etc.), just don’t use it. Most sentences are stronger without the qualifier. Try it and see. I promise you: You NEVER need “very”. Ever.
  • Use strong, picturesque verbs, nouns, and adjectives instead of weak ones with descriptors. For example, replace “He spoke loudly” with “He shouted” or “screamed” or “ranted.”
  • Use metaphors. Instead of “He looked at her vacuously” try “He looked as if he hadn’t had a thought in weeks.”
  • Substitute an adjective. Thank heavens adjectives are still in fashion. Many writers do this these days. Instead of “She glared at him angrily” they write “She glared at him, angry.” Personally, I think this is a bastardization of the language, but many of these writers otherwise know their craft.
  • Substitute a prepositional phrase. “She glared at him in anger.” Hey, now you’ve got a rock-solid NOUN here!

If you are beginning to find this list arbitrary and even a bit nonsensical, please join the crowd. Many writers, published and not, rightly find the current campaign against adverbs unwarranted. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that all the great writers used adverbs. Even Shakespeare used adverbs.

This is a fashion we’re talking about, folks, and like all fashions, it will pass. Take the good parts and ignore the nonsensical ones. Lose the qualifiers. Strengthen nouns and especially verbs. Choose dynamic adjectives. Find metaphors that wake your readers up. Then, if you still have a place for them, use adverbs that sing. And use them effectively.

Is there no end to this lack of “-ly”s?

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Last week I wrote about how one popular writer gets around the “-ly” problem. Diana Gabaldon is the author of the much acclaimed Outlander series. I think the acclaim is well deserved. These are wonderful time-travel romance books that I am enjoying thoroughly and would recommend to anyone.

But Ms. Gabaldon has developed one stylistic quirk that brings me up short and right out of the story every time I encounter it. Which is, regrettably, often. In what might be a response to the current undeserved disfavor in which adverbs ending in -ly find themselves among self-proclaimed writing gurus, Ms. Gabaldon often simply leaves off the -ly. I’m not sure how she punctuates this particular variation on the language (I’m listening, not reading). Problem solved, right?

Well, gentle reader, here are some real examples from An Echo in the Bone. You decide:

“He turned for the shore, cutting smooth through the water.”

“Roger shrugged helpless.”

“‘What?’ I said startled.”

“‘You can’t leave,’ I whispered urgent.”

“Tears welled in his own eyes then, unexpected.”

“She bit her lip at that and nodded reluctant.”

I offer these examples reluctant, since I love this book wholehearted. But I do wish somebody had edited a few -lys back into it.

Those Pesky –ly Adverbs

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It’s all the rage these days among writer-mavens to advise the disuse, where possible, of –ly adverbs. (Some of us, for the record, disagree.) Substitute instead, these mavens urge, a stronger form of the verb. Use of –ly adverbs weakens your writing, they say, by implying poor verb choice.

I absolutely agree.

Oh. Excuse me. That was a mistake. What I meant to say is that I am in complete concordance. There. Much stronger.

Writers should use the strongest appropriate verb instead of a weaker verb and one of those pesky –ly adjectives. Where possible.

But of course this is not always possible.

In particular, these same writer-mavens also advise never to use speaker dialog tags other than “said” because they get in the way of the dialog itself.

“But my third-grade teacher encouraged me to use verbs other than ‘said’!” I gasp.

I remember—I remember, and this was half a century ago—the class making a list on the blackboard of all the picturesque, strong verbs we might use instead of “said.” And our teacher encouraged us to use them.

Oh. Half a century ago, that explains it. Times change, and so do writing styles. Nowadays, if dialog tags must be used, “said” is the one. It’s the only one where the writing does not insert itself between the reader and the dialog. This is fine. But now we face the conflict of two writer-maven rules: Always use the strongest verb form possible, except always use “said.”

And forget those –ly adverbs, even with “said.” What’s a poor writer to do?

I have been listening to Diana Gabaldon’s An Echo in the Bone, the seventh in her brilliant Outlander series. This generally well-written and thoroughly enjoyable book has almost completely solved the –ly adverb problem. (Which, you may have noticed from the previous sentence, I have not.) You see, it turns out that adjectives are still acceptable. Use them instead of those pesky –ly adverbs. Behold, actual quotes from this book.

“Only until the war is over,” he said, encouraging.

“You never said anything about wanting to write a book,” Ian said, curious.

There must be at least one construction like this on every page. Maybe more. I love this book, but the eradication of –ly adverbs is painful to listen to. Every time the –ly should be there but isn’t, I cringe.